I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
