My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I have post one night stand depression
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
