Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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