I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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