All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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