is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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