He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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