Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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