forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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