you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
