You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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