Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
