I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
