HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
