Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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