Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
