Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
