A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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