Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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