How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she smelled like a LAN party
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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