I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
