The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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