Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
