All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
