I want to make a zoo with you.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
soo... how was my night?
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