This girl is more easily done than said...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
