I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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