There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
