How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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