"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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