So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
