I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
