Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
