Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
my shit smells like andre
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
