R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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