it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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