People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
