dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I pour the whiskey from now on
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
