In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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