Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
