At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
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