I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
