walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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