D3 body, D1 cock
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
