how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
