I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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