I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
