I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
