Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
