puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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