Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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