"it" just moved
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize