I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
