i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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