You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
