Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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