I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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