My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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