i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
