I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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