I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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