My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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